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Learning to Be

~ My journey to BE what God intended….

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Category Archives: Shower Revelations, Middle-of-the-Night Moments & Other Eye-Opening Stuff

What If I Miss God’s Will?

07 Thursday Nov 2013

Posted by Chrystal in Be Authentic, Be Obedient, Be Trusting, Faith Walking, Shower Revelations, Middle-of-the-Night Moments & Other Eye-Opening Stuff

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CHRISTIANITY, Discerning God's Will, FAITH, GOD, God's will for my life, HOLY SPIRIT, JESUS, SPIRITUAL WARFARE, TRUST

I’ve been MIA for a few weeks. I’ve been working on a special study that is very emotionally draining….things I cannot blog about at this time….and I have nothing left over in my energy or time to even read blog posts, much less write them. So until I come out of this, my “visits” here on WordPress will be irregular.

But I came across this article on Facebook the other day that was so encouraging to me that I wanted to pass it along to someone else who may need to hear it:

“If God wants us to be in His will and to do His will, then why is knowing His will so difficult?”

To read the rest, click here.

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GC About Guilt & Comparison…

02 Wednesday Oct 2013

Posted by Chrystal in Be Trusting, Faith Walking, Just another GC, Shower Revelations, Middle-of-the-Night Moments & Other Eye-Opening Stuff

≈ 8 Comments

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CHRISTIANITY, FAITH, GUILT, HOLY SPIRIT, JESUS, Martin Luther

Oh yeah…..Just another GC….email devotion sent to me the day after this post…

The Truth About Guilt and Comparison


By Doug Fields

Each one should test their own actions. Then they can take pride in themselves alone, without comparing themselves to someone else,

Galatians 6:4

Most Christians claim to want to connect with God regularly—or at least they want the benefits of the richer life that result from consistent connections. But when it comes to turning desire into discipline, most don’t. Failure gives birth to guilt.

The guilt can be crushing. Wonderful people limp through the Christian life marred by it. It’s guilt, guilt, guilt 24/7—I don’t pray enough. I’m not reading the Bible like I should. I haven’t witnessed to my neighbor. I don’t spend enough time with God…Guilty.

If guilt defines you, I’m so sorry. I pray that you’ll come to see that you’re not a “lousy Christian” if you don’t have a traditional quiet time. The Christian life is not about locks and chains. Jesus Christ came to set us free. Yes, some guilt may serve as God’s motivator, but too many Christians cower because of false guilt—aka condemnation—that they’ve heaped upon their own shoulders because they’ve compared themselves to an unrealistic model and come up short. That type of guilt is wrong and unfair, and it will weigh you down and wear you out.

Comparison is deadly, yet so natural. It’s easy to place ourselves next to someone we think has it together spiritually, constantly taking mental notes on how we don’t measure up. Yet, comparison only assumes that others are doing what we’re not, and so we end up contrasting what we know about ourselves (everything) with what we don’t really know about others (which is almost everything). Again, not fair.

Then, to make maters worse, we hear stories about people such as Martin Luther, who awoke each day at 4:00 a.m. and spent hours with God. “I have so much to do today that I should spend the first three hours in prayer,” he said. Now, that really piles on the guilt. I’m really happy for Martin Luther that he was able to pull that off. But, as for me, I’m not a morning person. I didn’t even know there was a 4:00 a.m. until I read his quote in seminary.

For me, I’d much rather hear something about how his early-morning prayer sessions made him extremely grumpy in the afternoons because of his lack of sleep. That would be something I could really relate to!

Here’s my encouragement: Please stop comparing. You aren’t Martin Luther. Neither am I. You’re you! God designed you to be you in your faith too. I’m not suggesting you can’t have an intimacy with God similar to that of other heroes of our faith; of course you can. But I’m asking you to quit comparing, and instead, be challenged to learn how to connect with God in realistic ways that fit with how you’re wired. You can do this! I know you can.

 

I Just Can’t Measure Up….

01 Tuesday Oct 2013

Posted by Chrystal in Be Not Afraid, Be Obedient, Be Trusting, Faith Walking, Shower Revelations, Middle-of-the-Night Moments & Other Eye-Opening Stuff

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Experiencing God: Knowing and Doing the Will of God Revised and Expanded, FAITH, FORGIVENESS, GOD, GUILT, HOLY SPIRIT, JESUS, LOVE, TRUST

Cover of "Experiencing God: Knowing and D...

Cover via Amazon

JJ (Jesu Juva which means “Help o Jesus”)

A while back, the workbook Experiencing God by Henry Blackaby & Claude King kept coming to mind, and I’d think “I should do that again. It was good.” Then I’d just go on with daily life and not do it. But the closer I got to working on a special project that I felt God calling me to do, the more pressing was the thought of re-reading Experiencing God BEFORE the special project.

And I now KNOW WHY! He is preparing me! I’ll be sharing some tidbits from the workbook over the next few posts. Wow…wow! Some amazing stuff in that workbook study!

As I started Experiencing God and realized WHY He wanted me to do that study again and WHAT He was doing, I felt totally guilty that I hadn’t started when He first prompted me. I started beating myself up. Thankfully, God spoke to me that I was doing it in His time….if I had done it earlier, I would have missed some vital revelations that are pertinent to NOW.

But my first self-condemning reaction was my usual M.O. It’s my DEFAULT reaction. My.Whole.Life. Feeling guilty. That I’ve done something wrong. Again. Feeling less than adequate. That I wasn’t measuring up. That my performance wasn’t up to par.

What an epiphany I had….Well, duh…

After hundreds of sermons, devotionals, journaling, prayer, Bible studies…..I’m STILL ranking myself in the “Christian Hall of Fame” and ending up waaaaay down at the bottom.  I’m STILL trying to EARN God’s Love and acceptance. I’m STILL feeling guilty when I fail at MEASURING UP! I’m STILL trying to please the impossible-to-please God in my mind. I’m not talking about being convicted of my sinful ways here….it goes way beyond that.

I didn’t think I was doing that anymore. But He showed me that I was.  You could read my journals & see exactly what I’m talking about…..always apologizing for not being who I think I should be. Who I try to be. Who I think God wants me to be.

After this little revelation, I heard Sunday’s sermon and got a GC. Our pastor said in relation to Romans 12:3:  “The goal is NOT to measure up…but to ask Him for more faith.”

One of many things He’s been revealing to me, especially through Experiencing God.  More on that later…..

P.S.  I had to add this onto what I had already written above but not published yet: I got an email devotional this morning. Guess what it was about? Yep. That’s right. Here’s an excerpt:

I carry shame and guilt over sins I have already confessed. I hold onto the guilt and work to make it up to God. I live as if I am really, really sorry, then He will forgive me. Or, if I do something for someone else today, then maybe I will make myself right before God. However, that is not what the Lord has for us. Christ has set us free. Not free to do whatever we please but free from the penalty of sin. In fact, we have freedom from having to earn His love and earn His forgiveness. He has already paid the price, and he has already forgiven us of our vices and shortfalls.

Actions in keeping with repentance are appropriate! But, all those extra “sorry’s” and all the things I do to try to make myself right with God are not about Him. Those things are all about the attempts I make to improve my “standing” in His eyes.

SDG (Soli Deo Gloria which means, “To God alone glory”)

Jesus Help Me & To God Be The Glory

23 Monday Sep 2013

Posted by Chrystal in Shower Revelations, Middle-of-the-Night Moments & Other Eye-Opening Stuff

≈ 2 Comments

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CHRISTIANITY, GOD, HOLY SPIRIT, JESUS, Johann Sebastian Bach, RELIGION, Soli Deo gloria

JJ

This was one of my email devotionals from a while back. I remember hearing about this a long time ago, and since my last post spoke about giving God the Glory, I thought I’d share this…and I think I shall include these letters in my posts from now on.

By Jim Liebelt

Surely God is my help; the Lord is the one who sustains me.

Psalm 54:4

While searching on a website devoted to Johann Sebastian Bach, I found something interesting. It seems that Bach often wrote the letters “JJ” at the beginning of his scores and the letters “SDG” at the end. What did these letters mean? JJ stood for the Latin Jesu Juva, which means “Help o Jesus.” So, it seems that at the beginning of creating his music, Bach was requesting Divine help. SDG stood for the Latin Soli Deo Gloria, which means, “To God alone glory.” It seems that at the end of creating his music, Bach gave thanks to God.

Bach was an extremely gifted composer. Still, despite his talents, he had the habit of asking for Jesus’ help as he began his work and then giving thanks to God when he was finished. This plants within me the desire to be more intentional about including God in my day.

I would think that it would be easy for a person of Bach’s giftedness to take God’s role in their life for granted—to begin to rely on self and to take some time to pat oneself on the back for a job well done! If a person of Bach’s talent and giftedness made it a habit to ask for God’s help and to give God thanks, how much more should we do the same?

In the end, it is to our benefit to be reminded that we are all dependent upon the Lord for everything. We really do need His help! We also benefit from giving thanks to God. It gives us needed perspective to understand that all we accomplish is from God’s gracious hand.

SDG

He’s got {FRUITY} eyes for you!

07 Saturday Sep 2013

Posted by Chrystal in Shower Revelations, Middle-of-the-Night Moments & Other Eye-Opening Stuff

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Just another GC for me that there are NO wasted or frivolous words in Scripture.

kingintraining

apple

When I read about David, I am always in wonder how God called him the apple of His eye, and would whisper to myself, “Wow…what a blessing.” Like, how special do you need to be to be called the apple of God’s eye?

Then I got to wondering- what does the ‘apple of my eye’ even mean? I know it means to cherish or adore, but what does an apple have to do with the price of eggs? I mean if I’m going to choose a fruit to describe how I cherish someone, I’m gonna go with a pineapple – tastiest of all! So I decided to dig a little. I think God purposely left these little hidden treasures in Scripture for us to find. Little golden nuggets to dig up and devour. I find this the most exciting part of Bible study!

I came to find that the Hebrew…

View original post 233 more words

Pathetic Has an Upside

28 Wednesday Aug 2013

Posted by Chrystal in Shower Revelations, Middle-of-the-Night Moments & Other Eye-Opening Stuff

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I love this. Thank you, Pastor Bryan.

BROKEN BELIEVERS

 

“And this is the reason: God lives forever and is holy. He is high and lifted up. He says, “I live in a high and holy place…

(pause for emphasis)

but I also live with people who are sad and humble.I give new life to those who are humble and to those whose hearts are broken.”

Isaiah 57:15, NCV

There is no exception, or absolutely no reasoning over this.  Simply put, God is holy and that He lives forever.  That is beyond dispute.  He simply penetrates everything, He is the “first cause” and exercises complete authority over all, and anything that has had any existence whatsoever.  He is all sustaining and completely powerful. This is just basic truth, and these simple ideas woven together, produce some mighty fine theology.

But even with all this, He has a high density love for the desperate.  He searches us out…

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I Was Focusing on the Wrong Word….

19 Monday Aug 2013

Posted by Chrystal in Faith Walking, Shower Revelations, Middle-of-the-Night Moments & Other Eye-Opening Stuff

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Tags

CHRISTIANITY, FAITH, GOD, HOLY SPIRIT, JESUS, PERSPECTIVE, RELIGION, TRUST

This morning I wrote here about trying to surrender and about the hymn “I Surrender All.”  A while later God told me I was concentrating on the WRONG WORD!

My focus should be on ALL!

Wow. Now that’s a change in perspective.

I started to fret about a friend’s situation and what to pray and do and felt the usual  burden of not being able to help. Felt myself getting overwhelmed by the situation and my inadequacy. Felt like I just wanted to ignore it.  Felt the GUILT about…quite honestly….the twinges of annoyance or impatience, etc. that pop up.

He said:

“Surrender it to me. Give her and her situation to me. Relinquish whatever need YOU have to fix it (and you and I both know you have a need to do that). I AM the fixer, not you. You don’t need to ignore the situation. You’re there for the journey, not for the repair work.  Just give it to me. I want you to surrender ALL. Everything. Not just what you think you should or the things you can’t handle. But ALL. Don’t worry about surrendering.  Just RELEASE.  Don’t be burdened. Take MY yoke upon you, and I will give you rest. ”

He’s the fixer. Of everything. Of ALL. Surrender ALL. ALL. What a relief….

Don’t Be Hatin’ Bout My Fun Time Last Night….

09 Friday Aug 2013

Posted by Chrystal in Shower Revelations, Middle-of-the-Night Moments & Other Eye-Opening Stuff

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CHRISTIANITY, GOD, JESUS, National Football League, NFL, Qualcomm, San Diego Chargers

SanDiegoChargersI wonder if any of you had as much fun as we did last night? I don’t think so….wanna hear?

1) Got last minute FREE tickets to the Chargers. Score, baby! Time for some fun!

2) Took a leisurely hour & a half drive down the freeway to Old Town to catch the trolley to Qualcomm – twice the time it should have so we had plenty of time to relax in our car…surrounded by lots of other people relaxing in their cars.

3) Took a scenic tour around Old Time for about 30 minutes looking for a parking place. It was fun.

4) Almost found one too early which meant we wouldn’t have had that scenic tour but luckily, we couldn’t fit. The good news is we exchanged a couple of compliments about our respective direction-giving and listening qualities….but I won’t quote what was said. It’s a little private thing between couples. Maybe you have had 1 or 2 of those….

5)  Had fun on the trolley listening to some young women laugh & chat about how gooooood Coors Light tastes in a can as they quickly popped open a couple. They were thirsty.

6) Found out that my little clutch-size purse was a LITTLE ROOMIER than I realized & DIDN’T QUITE pass the new rule for NFL game admission. Gave me an opportunity to sport the latest in clear plastic bags! Fashionable!

7) Got a little exercise as we headed to the gate where we were directed to check-in my bag.

8) Found the gate closed so we got to converse & make new friends as we asked staff where we needed to head next.

9) Got a little more exercise as we strolled to the big white tent in the middle of the parking lot where bag check-in was happening. Also got a little rest from our exercise as we waited…

10) With fashionable clear plastic bag in hand, had a nice little stroll around the stadium looking for a gate that wasn’t closed already & entered to find some sustenance and a restroom. My bladder control had been in practice for a while. Good for the body!

11) Good thing our wait in line for pizza didn’t come to fruition because we forgot we’re having pizza tonight! Yep, it was quite sweet of Oggi’s to run out of pizza so we didn’t have to eat it 2 nights in a row.

12) That $40 dinner of fried chicken strips, garlic fries and beer is really going to help our health! We will have protection from heart disease, cancer, viral infections, etc. as well as protection from vampires for about a year! Hooray for garlic! The bad news: the Budweiser in a can didn’t taste nearly as gooooood as the Coors Light in a can must have tasted.

13) Luckily, we didn’t have to sit in those bad, uncomfortable end zone seats for very long. We missed the boring first 3 quarters. Yep, I’m sure they were more boring than what we had been doing….having an adventure!

14) And also luckily, we didn’t have to see the final nail in the Charger’s coffin as the Seahawks made their last touchdown, bringing the score to 31-10. Nope, we got to leave a couple of minutes early to go get in line to retrieve my purse. The one that WASN’T QUITE small enough.

15) Got to do a little people-watching while we waited for my purse. It was nice how the staff went out into the disorganized line & got claim tickets and ID’s from the people BEHIND us so they weren’t cluttering up the line BEHIND us. AND I got a big FREE paper bag to take home to use for future purposes. FREE!

16) Got to know a few more people up close & intimately on the trolley back to our car. Nothing like a crowded trolley to keep you warm on a cool night.

Yep. Fun night. How was yours?

I’m sure God had some learning in there somewhere for me.  Patience? Well, I guess there wasn’t AS MUCH impatience as there has been in the past. Learning to control tempers? Ditto about the past. I did laugh hysterically for a couple of minutes. Does that count? Learning what’s important & what’s not? Guess you could make an argument for that…..but it’s a stretch.

Not sure that ANY learning happened or that my character was improved or anything remotely worthy of a Christian blog post. But hey. It makes a good story.

Have a great weekend!

Related articles
  • Purses, backpacks banned at Chargers games (fox5sandiego.com)

What Now, God?

05 Monday Aug 2013

Posted by Chrystal in Be Obedient, Faith Walking, Shower Revelations, Middle-of-the-Night Moments & Other Eye-Opening Stuff

≈ 8 Comments

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Abuse, CHRISTIANITY, FAITH, GOD, HEALING, HOLY SPIRIT, JESUS

A few months ago, I got totally blindsided by my INTENSE emotional reaction to something. Seriously. My breath caught, and I had some difficulty breathing smoothly. I immediately started crying my eyes out and couldn’t stop for about 10 minutes. I actually still fought the urge to cry for several minutes after that.

This is what triggered that reaction:

abuse hotlineThat screen. Those words. Nothing else except what you see.

Intrigued by someone’s blog, I had been directed to a YouTube video (scroll to the bottom for the video) which I couldn’t stop watching…over & over. I was mesmerized, appalled and heartbroken. Although this is a fictionalized video, the look on the woman’s face at the end of the video made me cringe and twisted my heart.. But still I was totally caught off guard when I clicked on a link that led me to the Abuse Hotline and its “Quick Escape” button.

I must tell you that I have never been abused in any way nor has anyone close to me that would have caused me to have this kind of reaction. Yes, I obviously do know some people that have been abused and that knowledge has affected me, but I wasn’t involved/affected in a way that would have triggered this kind of emotional response. This extreme response.

There have been many other GC’s over the past year concerning this. Brokenness. Emotional healing. Jesus as healer. Books. Scripture. People that God’s brought into my life. I even wrote a blog post about the beginning stirrings in my heart.

So…..what now? That’s what I’ve been asking myself and God. What now? What exactly does this mean? What do I do with this?

I could keep asking or I could take the first step. Through the first door He has opened as I wrote about here. Oh yeah. There’s been a door opened….wide. With a pretty big sign on it that says “Enter here, Chrystal.”  I’ll talk about that next….

Forgiveness Is For Ourselves, Too

30 Tuesday Jul 2013

Posted by Chrystal in Be Gracious, Be Obedient, Faith Walking, Shower Revelations, Middle-of-the-Night Moments & Other Eye-Opening Stuff

≈ 5 Comments

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CHRISTIANITY, Corrie Ten Boom, FAITH, FORGIVENESS, GOD, HOLY SPIRIT, JESUS, RELIGION

I’m still here.  I am still reading, listening, and learning, but I’ve been too busy (still) to think about writing much. Unfortunately, too busy to REALLY meditate on what God’s saying to me, also. But thank goodness, He still gets to me.  Maybe one of these days I’ll catch up on writing down what He’s telling me.

forgiveness

Read a devotional this morning (BELOW)  that I thought were good words to think about, to remember. Words that I’d heard about and read about in many different forms over the years, including the first part about Corrie ten Boom.

I always wonder about the ability to forgive someone who has done something horrific, atrocious, evil, etc. in your life – to you or to loved ones.  I have a friend who has forgiven the person who murdered her mother. Incredible.

Most of us hold on to our hurts so tightly. They become our closest friends. Not “best friends” in the definition of “best.” But definitely the “closest.”

As I read the devotional below, the Lord placed a name on my heart.  From an incident many years ago. One that really hurt my heart and cut to the matter of my honesty and integrity. I thought it really didn’t affect me anymore. It was such a long time ago that it just didn’t matter to me any more.  And it certainly didn’t in my daily life. But God obviously knew something I didn’t. I realized that I had never taken the action of forgiveness. I had never said “I forgive you, Ed Shevlin.”

So I did. Guess it’s a start.  forgiveness

Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. Matthew 6:12

Corrie ten Boom often thought back over the horrors of Ravensbruck prison camp and realized that it was hard to find forgiveness in her heart—the true Christian attitude for the former Nazis that would reveal through her the Spirit’s goodness. Where was love, acceptance, and forgiveness in a horror camp where allegedly more than 95,000 women died? How could she ever forget the horrible cruelty of the guards and the smoke constantly coming from the chimney of the crematorium?

A few years later, Corrie was speaking in a church in Munich, and when the meeting was over she saw one of the cruelest male guards of Ravensbruck coming to speak to her. He had his hand outstretched. “I have become a Christian,” he explained. “I know that God has forgiven me for the cruel things I did, but I would like to hear it from your lips as well. Fraulein, will you forgive me?”

Conflict raged in Corrie’s heart. The good Spirit of God urged her to forgive. The spirit of bitterness and coldness urged her to turn away. “Jesus, help me. I can lift my hand. I can do that much.” As their hands met it was as if warmth and healing broke forth with tears and joy. “I forgive you, brother, with all my heart.” Later Corrie testified that “it was the power of the Holy Spirit” who had poured the love of God into her heart that day.

Philip Yancey gives a pragmatic reason why we must forgive that seems very foundational: forgiveness alone can stop the cycle of blame, pain as well as vengeance and violence.

The meaning of the New Testament word “forgiveness,” he says, is literally “to release, to hurl away, to free yourself.”

The only way to break the chain or cycle of hurtfulness is to stop and ask forgiveness. This allows a relationship to start over and begin anew. The Russian writer, Solzhenitsyn, believed this forgiveness is what truly makes us different from animals. Only humans can perform that most unnatural act of forgiveness that transcends the relentless law of nature.

The only thing harder than forgiveness is the alternative. A teacher once told each of her students to bring a clear plastic bag and a sack of potatoes to school. For every person they refused to forgive in their life’s experience, they chose a potato, wrote on it the name and date, and put it in the plastic bag. They were then told to carry this bag with them everywhere for one week, putting it beside their bed at night, on the car seat when driving, next to their desk at work. The hassle of lugging this around with them made it clear what a weight they were carrying spiritually, and how they had to pay attention to it all the time to not forget and keep leaving it in embarrassing places…Too often we think of forgiveness as a gift to the other person, and it clearly is for ourselves as well!

RESPONSE: Today I will give myself the gift of forgiveness. Is there someone I need to forgive?

PRAYER: Father, I pray today for the power of Your Holy Spirit to enable me to release any cycles of hurtfulness in my life by forgiving others.

Related articles
  • The Christian Message: Forgiveness (hwnsurf.net)
  • 68) Will You Forgive Me? (emailmeditations.wordpress.com)
  • Forgive those who hurt you (theevansfamilia.wordpress.com)
  • A Call to Forgiveness (eddieknight.us)
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