A few months ago, I got totally blindsided by my INTENSE emotional reaction to something. Seriously. My breath caught, and I had some difficulty breathing smoothly. I immediately started crying my eyes out and couldn’t stop for about 10 minutes. I actually still fought the urge to cry for several minutes after that.
This is what triggered that reaction:
Intrigued by someone’s blog, I had been directed to a YouTube video (scroll to the bottom for the video) which I couldn’t stop watching…over & over. I was mesmerized, appalled and heartbroken. Although this is a fictionalized video, the look on the woman’s face at the end of the video made me cringe and twisted my heart.. But still I was totally caught off guard when I clicked on a link that led me to the Abuse Hotline and its “Quick Escape” button.
I must tell you that I have never been abused in any way nor has anyone close to me that would have caused me to have this kind of reaction. Yes, I obviously do know some people that have been abused and that knowledge has affected me, but I wasn’t involved/affected in a way that would have triggered this kind of emotional response. This extreme response.
There have been many other GC’s over the past year concerning this. Brokenness. Emotional healing. Jesus as healer. Books. Scripture. People that God’s brought into my life. I even wrote a blog post about the beginning stirrings in my heart.
So…..what now? That’s what I’ve been asking myself and God. What now? What exactly does this mean? What do I do with this?
I could keep asking or I could take the first step. Through the first door He has opened as I wrote about here. Oh yeah. There’s been a door opened….wide. With a pretty big sign on it that says “Enter here, Chrystal.” I’ll talk about that next….