This is dedicated with prayer to those in Moore, Oklahoma as well as all those whose “soul feels crushed.”
Saw this yesterday on Facebook and even shared it. Thought it was a great saying for people who are really going through a hard time. Tucked it away in the back of my mind for me but didn’t REAAAAAALLLY take it to heart now. Why not? Well, I’m NOT having STORMS….no “bad” times….no crisis like some I know & love. No sorrow. No fires in my house. No heartaches….Crazy busy, but it’s aaaallll gooood.
Uh, duh…someone had put blinders on me, trying to fool me into thinking I was in control again. That I was independent. That I didn’t NEED any help from The Helper. That I might be in danger of moving away from Him, step by step, until I became either self-sufficient or broken or bitter or…..
I’ve still been running at breakneck speed because…well, there’s still a lot going on. Two graduations (high school and college) coming up within the next month with all kinds of events and projects associated with them. And although I didn’t travel to be with them, both my father-in-law and my mother have had surgeries this past week. I’ve been praying for them but didn’t think it was affecting me very much. I can handle it all on my own, remember? I realized this morning that it was….
FINALLY I sat down to journal this morning. I’ve been feeling pretty guilty about neglecting my quiet time and my relationship with God. I’ve definitely seen Him working in my life and around me but haven’t “felt” Him. I know that “feelings” aren’t everything, but I’ve been missing that component of our relationship. I’ve been DOING for Him but not BEING with Him. Even reading the Bible has not been the “conversation with the Living God” that I wrote about before but had become something to check off on my “to-do” list.
After I had journaled and talked to God for a while (it was great by the way), I picked up an email devotion that I had printed out back in January. Obviously, I didn’t read it very well. *insert sarcasm*
This is what caught my eye:
Because the chaos isn’t from my circumstances. It’s inside me.
To be continued….
I had been struggling with a recent decision of mine. I had to choose between 2 things. In my heart I felt that God had led me to one particular choice so I felt that I was doing what He wanted. In fact, when I expressed my second-guessing, someone involved encouraged me by saying “you need to believe that you did exactly what you were supposed to do.”
But the decision I made wasn’t what I really wanted or even what I thought (in the back of my mind) would be the FINAL outcome. So…..even though I had peace about my decision, I still kinda second-guessed myself. Had I really heard God correctly? Unfortunately, I tend to do that a lot….but less than I did.
I just prayed that He would sort it out according to His Plan….what He really wanted. That doors He wanted closed would be closed and doors He wanted opened would be opened. And of course, that’s exactly what He did.
I could be wrong, but I have an idea why it happened that way. But in any case, this is just another step in the journey of trusting God…..even if it makes no sense at the time and even if I don’t have faith in myself. I just need faith in the Faithful One.
I’m sure what I just wrote makes absolutely no sense to you with all its ambiguity and vagueness! But that’s OK…..just wanted to acknowledge His Power and that HE is control. Always. Hallelujah for that!