A few months ago, I was driving home from work, sitting at a traffic light, and saw this “new structure” that “magically had appeared” DURING my work day. Obviously magic because the construction workers could not have built it this far in 8 hours, right?
I COULD. NOT. BELIEVE. IT. I drive this same route to and from work 5 days a week. And seriously…. had NOT noticed it. And felt like a fool! That I can get so caught up in the minutiae of life…of how living in this world can so blind me to what is right in front of me.
Someone told me years ago that I was like a sponge. That I soaked up whatever was around me. I sometimes just know things that are going on around me (hello Holy Spirit) & she told me that when I sensed & felt those things…emotions, turmoil, conflict, pain, issues, problems, burdens….I soaked them up into myself just like a sponge….even if I didn’t know WHAT was going on or WHY. And I just now remembered this part of what she said: that I had the tendency to take those emotions & make them my own.
Recently, someone else confirmed something in line with that. Not the sponge part but the part about knowing things. And he also said “Almost everyone who has a calling (apostle, prophet, evangelist, pastor, or teacher…according to Ephesians 4:11) has an unfulfilled feeling inside them. And no matter what they attempt to do, they are never satisfied, unless they walk in their calling. This is the way the Lord prepares us.”
My devotional this morning reads in part:
It wasn’t until God called Moses that he really knew what to do with his life. He seems to have had all kinds of emotional frustration from his estranged childhood. Like many young adults, early on he did not seem very intentional about his life……Moses received a call from God, and he now knew what he needed to do. Through his experience, he could then lead God’s people. That is the heart of wisdom, knowing how to live life skillfully and successful with the resources we have. It is not going to be easy and we are going to need assistance. Once called, we can trust God is on our side in establishing the work of “our” hands.
After I published yesterday’s post, once I was still & quiet & not “working” or “striving” (Shower Revelations & Middle-of-the-Night Moments as I call them because that’s sometimes when He can get my attention), I had the impression that, although my last couple of posts definitely pertain to me, that they also are meant for someone else. Someone that I know. My friend that needs the quiet in order to hear God. She is calling out “God, I need You now!” She needs the Shepherd to guide her. She needs the green pastures, the still waters, the leading. The rest. The RESTORATION. I love what Barnes’ Notes on the Bible says:
He restoreth my soul – literally, “He causes my life to return.” DeWette, “He quickens me,” or causes me to live. The word soul” here means life, or spirit, and not the soul in the strict sense in which the term is now used. It refers to the spirit when exhausted, weary, or sad; and the meaning is, that God quickens or vivifies the spirit when thus exhausted. The reference is not to the soul as wandering or backsliding from God, but to the life or spirit as exhausted, wearied, troubled, anxious, worn down with care and toil. the heart, thus exhausted, He re-animates. He brings back its vigor. He encourages it; excites it to new effort; fills it with new joy.
I believe my sponge may have been filling up with her need, pain, turmoil lately…not mine. Although I have been there for my friend with support, encouragement, Scripture, etc., I am reaching out to her in a different way now. I want to be very intentional with my life. To do what God is calling me to do.
As the devotional said, I will need assistance not only in doing His work but in differentiating what my sponge is soaking up. Is it my stuff or someone else’s? I’ve dealt with my weaknesses – my fear, insecurity, anxiety, etc. all my life, as I’ve written about so many times here on this blog. Now I’m wondering if it’s all been MINE? Has some of it been from others? That I just couldn’t see because I was all caught up in ME? Like I didn’t see that building? Is any of this true, Lord? Is this what You’re telling me? Have You been giving me the burdens of others? And I’ve always thought they were mine?
We’ve got a lot to talk about…
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew11:28-30