Sometimes we catch a glimpse of ourselves in the mirror, and like the evil stepmother in the fairy tale Snow White, and now the movie Mirror, Mirror, we get a dose of reality. Taken unaware, we are “unmasked.” We haven’t had the millisecond to subconsciously “arrange” our face into the face we THINK we have. To lift our head imperceptibly to avoid seeing the inevitable sagging jaw line thanks to gravity and age, to widen our eyes slightly to smooth the crinkles in the corners. Or to straighten our posture or breathe in to tighten our midsection.
And that reflection is not always pretty.
Although I’ve been journaling for a long time and learning much about who God is and discovering how He relates specifically to me, adopting My One Word this year and then deciding to write this blog seems to have focused me more. More toward the transformation that God desires for me and expects of me. I was getting pretty sick of myself and my spiritual stagnation. Oh, not that I wasn’t praying or reading His Word or worshipping or hearing great sermons that spoke to my heart. And I’ve had wonderful times of tremendous growth in the past.
God has been so understanding with me, speaking to me the words I’ve needed to hear (my GC’s over and over, thank You so much), patiently waiting, gently encouraging.
But I just seemed stuck. Stuck in my self-centeredness. Stuck in my selfishness. Stuck. On. Me.
See what I mean about it not being pretty? I’m just being honest here.
I have been reading so many of your blogs. You offer viewpoints and opinions that open my mind and sometimes send me right to the SOURCE to read what God really says about that. (What a blessing that has been!) But sometimes that’s also when I’ve glimpsed that ugliness in the mirror.
We are so blessed at our church with a great pastor. He always, ALWAYS gives messages that teach, inspire, convict, encourage, confirm, but most importantly he preaches Jesus and God’s unlimited love. Thank you, Pastor Bob for being such a clear conduit of God’s Words. One Sunday not too long ago, he spoke about the healing at the pool at Bethesda.
Do you want to get well?
Pastor Bob told us that Jesus didn’t say “do you want to be healed” or “do you want to be well” but “do you want to get well.” As in do you REALLY want to get well? Getting well means change. Things will change. Your life will change.
I felt like I had been slapped. And unmasked. And I saw a reflection I didn’t like.
Journal entry after journal entry has addressed this topic in some form or another. I’ve asked & prayed & wondered. So I talked to Him about getting well. And changes…
Suddenly, I find myself on a new journey. One that is taking me out of my comfort zone into one that, quite honestly, is a little scary. But it’s also exciting to think about where the Holy Spirit may be leading me. More to come!
I hope that some day when I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror, I won’t see Chrystal. I want to see Jesus.